Baby Daddy
by mabelreid
Summary: One Shot set in September of 2016 right before the season 12 kickoff. Rossi sees Reid's face on the front page of the tabloids and shows up on his doorstep Labor Day weekend to find out why they're saying Lila Archer is pregnant and Spencer is the father. He's not the only one that's interested. Wait till the press ambushes him at a crime scene. Just a little summer fun


_**Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is the property of CBS. No copyright infringement is intended with this posting**_

 _ **A/n this one shot is the result of a suggestion by a reader and based off the tabloids "Amber Heard is pregnant," story. In this universe, Reid has kept up a friendship with Lila Archer and his attendance at her Fourth of July party, sets off rumors of her pregnancy and Reid as the father. Just a little something to make you smile.**_

Reid was at his chess board when someone knocked at his door. He looked up in surprise because it was Saturday, the first day of the Labor Day weekend, and he didn't have a case, which meant an entire day to read, play chess, and work on a couple of papers for school. He already finished two loads of laundry and tidied his apartment. He'd thought of calling for delivery from his favorite Indian restaurant but hadn't followed through, yet. It couldn't be the delivery guy.

Another surprise met his ears when he went to the door and called. "Who is it?"

"Dave."

Lines appeared in Reid's forehead and for a minute, he wondered if an emergency had occurred now that 11 serial killers remained on the loose from the SuperMax escapes.

"Rossi," he squeaked. "Did something happen?"

Rossi lifted his eyebrows. "Not what you're thinking, but I need to speak to you about something I saw in the newsstand. Can I come in?"

"Oh, yeah, ah sorry."

Now that he knew it wasn't an emergency his brain re-engaged and, he took the time to observe his friend. Dave appeared as put together as ever, but there was something in his eyes that confused Reid.

"You want some coffee?" Reid tried to break the tension.

"No, _I_ don't need six cups before noon."

"I don't drink six cups before noon."

Rossi sat on Reid's sofa without invitation. " _Sit_ and stop trying to distract me."

Reid sat. "What's wrong?"

"Have you seen the tabloids?"

"No, I haven't been out yet. Even if I had, I don't pay attention to them. It's all outright lies and exaggerations."

"I stopped at the newsstand this morning. Your picture's on the front page of The Globe, along with Ms. Lila Archer."

"We are?"

"From what I saw, there was an old picture and a recent photo. You look much younger in one than in the other."

"It must be the same one from ten years ago."

"You were in the tabloids ten years ago?"

"Yes. You've heard the story of Lila Archer and her stalker."

"Actually, no. What happened?"

He quickly outlined the scenario for Rossi, trying to downplay the effect of Lila's attention to him. Rossi wasn't fooled. His eyebrows went into his forehead as he listened.

"Interesting," Rossi said. "I'm not sure why I'm surprised by your behavior. I'm proud of you. It's something I might've done in my youth."

"Dave! I wasn't trying to –"

Rossi smirked and held up a hand. "I know that, Spencer. I'm just teasing you."

"Oh, right. Well, we did keep in touch, and we've stayed good friends. She invited me to her 4th of July barbecue this year because she knows about the last year and everything that's happened to the team and me."

"Hey," Rossi said with a shrug. "You do what you gotta do to cope. Lila's a beautiful woman. I don't blame you."

Reid cocked his head and stared at Rossi. "What are you implying, Dave. It was a party, _nothing_ more."

Rossi sat back and crossed an ankle over his jeans-clad leg. "It's not just a photo with a story buried on page nine. It's a page one story."

Reid felt his pulse pick up. "What did they say about us?"

"The story claims that Lila's pregnant and you're the baby daddy."

"What?" He couldn't believe his ears. Pregnant! He, a baby daddy? _What?_ "Lila is not pregnant!"

"Are you sure, Spencer?"

He stood and began to pace the room nervously. "Rossi, you know the tabloids make up stories all the time."

"Is there anyone you know that could be the "anonymous source?"

"The only person I can think of is Brad, her ex. He tried to see her the night of the party, but she wouldn't let him through the gates."

"Does he know you're a friend?" Rossi watched him like a parent trying to determine if their teenager is lying about the porn under his bed.

"He doesn't know me." Reid insisted. "He was there when I arrived, but we didn't speak."

"You didn't have a confrontation with him?"

Reid sighed. "He was there; security was dealing with him. I might have flashed my badge and told him to leave, or I'd call the local police."

Rossi shook his head. "I want to tell you that was stupid, but I can't because you were right to step in. I know you wouldn't have if you didn't think it was necessary."

"It was, and he left. He did scream something about how I'd regret it, but after bullies in school and everything that I've dealt with on this job, his threats didn't register. I guess I should've realized he'd do something like this."

"How could you know?"

Reid shrugged again. "I'm a profiler, Dave."

Rossi rolled his eyes. "Doesn't make you a mind reader."

They were quiet for several minutes until Rossi said with a twinkle in his eyes. "You sure _nothing_ happened at this party."

"No! I told you we're just friends."

"Just because you're not serious doesn't mean you can't enjoy a little on the side, Spencer."

"David!"

"You know, for a guy your age, you blush _very_ easily. You should work on that."

"Thanks for pointing it out, Dave. Just what I needed." _If only there were some way to control blushing!_

"Look, Spencer. I believe you, not some scumbag tabloid reporter."

"Thanks," Spencer said sarcastically.

"I'm serious. I want you to be happy and if that means you gotta keep a few secrets, who am I to question you?"

"I'm not keeping a secret, but thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Since you're here, you wanna have lunch with me? I was just about to order in from The Indian Pearl."

"Why not? I love a good curried chicken."

Reid grinned and reached for his phone. "I'll place the order."

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When he stepped off the elevator on Tuesday morning with his usual cup of coffee, and his messenger bag over his shoulder, two people waited for him. Unfortunately, he'd hoped to go back to work without the fuss, but he'd known they'd be waiting for him. He sighed and interrupted Garcia as she was about to speak.

"Let's go to your office," he hurried off in that direction and left JJ and Garcia staring after him. "Are you coming, or may I skip the inevitable inquisition and get to work," he inquired when he realized they weren't following him.

"Ah. Yeah, Spencer," JJ said, a little irritated that he'd preempted her desire to corral him and force him to talk.

Garcia raised her eyebrows, and JJ shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. It had taken almost twelve years, but it appeared that Spencer was one step ahead of them in their desire for gossip. She wasn't sure if she should feel proud or pissed.

"What's up with him?" Garcia whispered through gritted teeth."

"I heard that, and _nothing_ is wrong with me," Reid said as he led the way. "I want to get this over with so I can tackle the mountain of paperwork on my desk."

He waited for them to catch up at the door to Garcia's office. He pushed it open, and shifted aside for them to enter, then he closed the door and stood with his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm waiting," he said calmly. "What do you want to know?"

Garcia, who wore a red skirt with yellow dahlias printed on the fabric, a red scoop neck blouse, matching shoes and a yellow flower in her hair, took a seat and stared at him. JJ, in her usual jeans, tee shirt and jacket stood next to Garcia and scowled at him.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"How did you know we'd be waiting for you?" Garcia blurted out.

"Because Rossi showed up on my doorstep Saturday morning. I figured you'd be the next to confront me."

They looked at each other and Garcia inclined her head in Reid's direction. JJ huffed out a breath and said, "We were worried about you, Spence. The tabloids and all the social media and –"

"You aren't worried about me," he said flatly. "You want to tease me about something you know is not true. The more I deny it, the more people believe it."

"Sweet cheeks, that's not true."

"Isn't it?"

"No," JJ denied vehemently. "Garcia saw the story online, and she called me. Spence." She reached out, but he backed away. "I was there ten years ago. I know you felt something –"

"JJ, I don't want to talk about Lila. We stayed friends. That's all. I did _not_ get her pregnant. Do you think I would and then leave her?"

"No, of course not," JJ said.

"You did want to tease me about it."

Garcia looked at the floor. "We don't believe it, sweet cheeks, but we wanted to talk to you."

"I don't need –"

JJ held up a hand. "I'm sorry, Spence. You're right; we did want to tease you. Now, I just want to know if you're alright."

He searched her eyes, which met his with a forthright expression. "I'm fine, JJ. Luckily the press in DC doesn't have my address or work information. I am hoping something more interesting will come along and make them forget about Lila and me."

"I could contact some of my old friends," JJ began.

"No. At least, not now. We'll wait and see what happens."

"Reid," Garcia said seriously. "Is Lila pregnant?"

"I wish I could tell you it's none of your business, but since I'm not betraying her confidence – no, she's not pregnant. I talked to her on Sunday, and she thinks that an ex with a big mouth started all of this because she wouldn't let him into her Fourth of July party."

"Is that where you went on vacation," Garcia asked.

"Yes."

"We're sorry we ambushed you."

He finally let his shoulders fall. "You didn't ambush me. I knew it was coming, so I'm good."

Garcia hugged him tight. "Do you forgive us?"

"Yes," he replied with sincerity because it was impossible to stay mad at Garcia.

"I'm glad because we're a little disappointed."

He pulled back and studied her as she smirked at him. JJ was hiding her mouth behind her hand, but her blue eyes were full of mirth.

"Why?" He sighed.

"Because we'd love to babysit for baby genius Reid."

"Garcia!"

He could feel his face getting hot, again. The ladies giggled, and he wished he'd come in late. It was too much to deal with after a three-day holiday.

"I need a complete set," Garcia complained.

"A complete set of _what_?"

"I think she means a complete set of BAU profilers, the next generation." JJ put in.

Garcia nodded her head. "Yes, I must have my live action BAU 2.0."

"Do I have any say in the matter?" He wanted to know.

"No!" They said in unison and laughed.

"I'm going to work," he backed away from both of them.

"I'll go with you. I'm sure Hotch has something ready for us."

"Yes," Garcia said. "We do have a case."

"Let's go," Reid opened the door for JJ. "I want to forget about all of this and do my job."

"It's a good thing Morgan's not here," JJ said as they returned to the bullpen.

"He called me yesterday," Reid admitted.

"I'm not surprised," JJ said.

She looked around to see other agents looking at Reid with curiosity and some humor. "Nothing to see here, people. Get back to work," said JJ.

"Yes, _please_ get back to work," Hotch said from the upper walkway. "Reid, JJ, we're meeting in the BAU room."

As usual, Hotch's face didn't reveal anything. "Do you think he'll confront me?" Reid said out of the corner of his mouth to JJ.

"I think you better keep your head down." She advised.

"That's what I thought."

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"What do you think?" JJ asked Reid.

He pulled off his protective gloves and looked around Brianna Ross's room with a sigh. "I think she's what she appears to be, a smart, creative kid with lots of friends. Her family seems normal. There're no signs of abuse. I think she was a victim of opportunity."

"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking."

"You're thinking about more than Brianna." He watched her carefully as she ran a gloved finger over a filmy pink handkerchief that hung over a lamp shade.

"Why can't we find a way to keep our children completely safe?"

He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. "I know there's no way to keep them totally safe short of locking them away from the world but – don't listen to me. I'm a little fed up with the world today."

Years ago, he would've responded with some helpful statistics, but today he simply said, "I look at the world differently now that Henry, Hank, Michael, and Jack are part of my life. Sometimes I wonder if my life would be easier if I could turn back the clock to before Jack was born, but I realized that not only is time travel impossible without the Tardis," he smirked at JJ when she narrowed her eyes at him. "I also realized that I wouldn't trade the boys for anything."

"Aside from the fact that you found a way to sneak in a Dr. Who reference – which, by the way, we _will_ address at another time," she grinned at his eye roll. "I understand what you're saying. Kids are worth the pain and worry because of the joy."

"Yes," he said firmly. "Especially when you can spoil them and send them back to their parents."

"You're looking for trouble today," JJ observed with an irritated expression. "You trying to get me back for this morning?"

"No, that would be childish."

"Keep it up, Spence."

He grinned at her and she responded by hugging him around the waist. "I realize we've talked about this before, but I hope one day you'll have a mini you running around to add to our little family."

"Not you too," he said in mock exasperation.

"Yes." She went silent, and her cobalt blue eyes went wide. "Spence? He's collecting kids or trying to replace a family he lost. It's the only thing that makes sense when you think about the difference in ages and gender."

"You're right," his eyes lit up. "Why didn't I see it?"

"Because you're off your game today."

"That's your fault," he informed her as the hurried down the stairs and out the front door.

"It isn't just my fault, Garcia had -"

A barrage of questions from several reporters that had collected on the street in front of the house stopped them in their tracks.

"Agent Jareau," called out one of the male reporters. "Why is the FBI here? Do you only take high profile cases, now?"

"Is this case connected to the SuperMax debacle? What is the FBI's progress in catching those dangerous killers?

"Why did the FBI wait until the child of a prominent businesswoman disappeared before you became involved?"

Several other reporters called out their questions, and it became a cacophony around them. JJ glanced over at Reid, and he lifted his eyebrows. "Ladies and Gentlemen," JJ said loudly and with the kind of authority that silenced the crowd. "The FBI is following several leads at this time. Let me _assure_ you that we are fully engaged in tracking the man that has taken these children. All the victims and their families are _equally_ important to the BAU. We do _not_ pick and choose our cases based on notoriety."

"Agent Jareau, don't you think – "

"That is all I have to say at this time. Please direct your questions to our public relations department."

"Has Agent Reid's judgment been compromised by his relationship with Lila Archer?"

JJ faced the reporter squarely. Her face was blank, but her eyes blazed. " _Dr._ Reid has no comment. Please leave this family in peace."

She led the way to their SUV despite the mass scramble of the reports that tried to surround them. They called out more questions about the case and Lila Archer. JJ kept repeating, "no comment" until they were inside and Reid was behind the wheel.

"I wish you could run them over," JJ said irritably.

Reid pushed on his sunglasses. "You're a bit bloodthirsty today." He started the engine and managed to pull away from the curb without killing the reporters that pressed in around the car.

"It's none of their business," she fumed. "First, they try to say we only care about high profile cases, then they attack how we're handling the SuperMax escapees, and then they try to impugn your integrity."

"JJ, you can't beat up the bully on the playground for me. I can take care of myself."

She forced out a breath between her teeth and slid on her sunglasses. "I know, Spencer. You're my friend, and I hate seeing people attack you this way. You didn't do anything wrong."

"You're right," he agreed. "There's nothing we can do about it. Let's get back to the field office and deal with the missing kids."

"You're right, of course. You're always right. It's annoying."

He gave her a grin. "I love your backhanded compliments, JJ."

She glared at him then they laughed together, and it felt so good to relax for just a minute in the middle of all the worry and stress.

"Seriously," Spencer continued. "Thank you for defending me. If one day I have a child, I want him or her to know you and the rest of my crazy BAU family."

"It's too bad Lila isn't pregnant by you. Wouldn't it be cute if you had the first girl in the group? She'd be close to Michael's age and –"

"Don't say it. She is _not_ dating until she is thirty."

"S _he is_ , as in the present tense," JJ giggled. "I thought we're talking hypothetically."

He sighed long and loud. "We are, I misspoke, _okay_?"

JJ looked out the window instead of watching Spencer, who'd gone very pink in the cheeks. Was it possible that he and Lila – no Spencer doesn't lie, she thought? Still, the addition of a mini-Reid - male or female - made her smile at the thought.

"Why are you grinning like that?" Reid asked when they pulled into the parking lot of the FBI field office.

"No reason, just visualizing something amazing!"


End file.
